For the first time on this journey i can honestly say i am so absolutely shattered and bitterly disappointed in this weeks results.
I have been very happy that i have seen improvements each week and have maintained the motivation to continue even when my weight or food habits have taken a detour for the worse. Yes i have been disappointed in myself and ashamed that i didn’t give my all. But i have never been disappointed in the results.
I have set myself what i believe to be reasonable goals from this lifestyle change. Which are to lose weight, become fitter and more energetic, improve my mental well being and to generally become a better person. I have not set ridiculously high expectations like to drop 30kgs in 10 weeks or to be off anti anxiety medication by Halloween. What i have set myself is to see improvements each week even if minor and only in one of my goal areas. I also set myself mini goals each week/ month like the July Gratitude Challenge or to improve my steps next week.
This week was a high anxiety week for me but instead of letting it control and consume me i chose to fight it. I made extra effort to spend as much time outdoors as i could, soaking up the sun and fresh air. I took my anxiety out on our trees and did a massive amount of pruning. Every night this week i climbed into bed feeling very good with myself and all the work i had done. All that sunshine and hard work led to a good nights sleep and waking refreshed. I had set myself the mini goal of getting over 30,000 steps and i was sure i was on track with that. My food had been ok, a few hot chocolates and a bowl of ice cream but no major blow outs. I was looking forward to Friday and seeing the results of all my hard work.
Weigh in Friday morning routine – go to toilet, get ready for shower and weight and measure myself. I did it exactly the same as i have done it every other week. This is what happened.
I gained 1.6kgs and increased my measurements. I was shocked, i re-weighed myself 5 times because i just did not want to believe it. This led me to spend most of Friday sulking. I ate bad foods, drank soft drink, lounged on couch and let my anxiety get the better of me.
The only thing from this week that i can cling to is my steps. I achieved my goal and did over 30,000. 32,051 to be exact, I am proud of this. But i also need to remember that when i worked i did between 12,000 and 15,000. I will get back to a more respectable number. So next weeks mini goal is to do over 40,000 steps.
I will get past this disappointment. I keep reminding myself to not let it ruin my lifestyle change. To look forward and not dwell on this week. Hopefully next weeks blog will be far more positive. Stay tuned!