My DD is lucky enough to have 3 Nanna’s and 1 Poppy. I say lucky because I only ever knew my dads mum and her 2nd and then 3rd husbands hehe Go Nan. Well this is what i thought before DD was born.
Nanna J lives 2 states away (1700kms), Poppy and Nanna M live about 2hrs away and Nanna L lives 45mins away. Out of all of them Nanna J has seen her the most and spent the most time with her which included flying up the week after she was born, she also calls every week and constantly requests photos and videos.
Poppy and Nanna M came to visit and meet DD 3 weeks after birth and have only seen her half a dozen times or so but call every week and keep up to date with how she is and what she is up to.
Nanna L – my MIL has been the biggest disappointment. She didn’t meet DD until she was 4mths old and only then because we took her out to her place. Nanna L has seen DD a total of 4 times and only because we went to her everytime. The biggest disappointment was when she could not be bothered to come to DD’s 1st Birthday. This is her only granddaughter. She is of able body, works from home and has her license and a car so there is no real reasons for this.
I never really understood why some people had so many issues with inlaws now i do. I tried to be the bigger person which is why we did take DD to see her, i constantly invited her over and made sure she knew she was always welcome but she never took me up on it. When she didn’t come to DD’s 1st Birthday that is when i finally snapped, i didn’t say anything to her i just deleted her and SIL (she was exactly the same) from my personal FB account and told Mr Wonderful i am not causing drama but i am done trying. Funnily enough they both are still absent completely from DD’s life by their own choices.
I hate that this has happened, i am sure we will put in an effort again one day if they want us to and am betting it will end the same because according to Mr Wonderful this isn’t anything new, he expected it.
I feel so bad for DD, i loved my Nanna she was my world, she taught me compassion, kind heartedness and generally how to be a decent person. Not only that she taught me how to bake, cook, sew and many other crafty talents. I cherish every moment i spent with her and was very grateful that i had the chance to pay some of this back to her as she got older. I had so hoped that DD could have something similar.
How are we meant to deal with such disappointments – my answer was to adopt a Nanna. A wonderful older lady who i used to work with that has very similar values to my Nan. She lives on her own and only has a small family. Lives 20mins from us and adores DD. Sometimes the best family are those that we pick for ourselves. Thank you Nanna A ❤.