Do’s & Don’ts of Online Dating
I spent over a decade on different dating sites looking for Mr Right and Mr Right Now. I made so many mistakes and had some very interesting experience which have led me to do a list of my personal do’s and don’ts of online dating.
Profile & Chatting
Photo do’s & don’ts
Profile pictures should not have fish in them. What you think is a funny photo most likely is not funny to someone looking to date you. Group photos are never good. Definitely no photos of you with someone of the opposite sex. If you are only looking for fun then flesh is ok but if you are looking for a relationship then keep it covered. Put a recent photo up not one from 10 years ago.
Be yourself and be honest but don’t believe everyone else is
Don’t try and be something you are not, you most likely will attract the wrong person for you. Do not believe everything people put on their profiles or what they message. It is too easy to be someone else when hiding behind a computer.
Be upfront but not over the top about what you are looking for
If you are looking for fun that is fine but don’t make out like you are looking for a relationship. And vice versa.
Do not share personal details keep it general
Do not share your address, workplace, schools or anything else that could easily lead back to you. Keep your answers general e.g – i live on the North Side, work in a clothing store, go to a local gym. Once you have met and feel comfortable then feel free to share.
Meet as soon as you can
I highly recommend meeting as soon as you can. It is very easy to build things up in your head when chatting online and often what you create in your head is far from reality.
Trust your instincts
If something seems off then it probably is. If someone seems to good to be true then again they probably are. There are a lot of scammers out there so always go with your gut.
Always have first meet in a public place
First meetings should always be in a well lit public place. Coffee Shops, tourist attractions, shopping centers etc.
Keep it simple do not commit
For the first meeting do not commit to anything too lengthy. If the person is a dud you do not want to be stuck having a meal with them. Agree to meet for a coffee or a drink and then take it from there.
Manners & respect
Regardless of what you are meeting for, fun or a relationship always remember your manners and respect. Excessive swearing, chewing gum, spitting etc do not make for good first impressions. Deodorant and clean clothes are always good.
Do not overshare & do not monopolise the conversation
People do not want to hear your life story the first time you meet. Medical issues should be left for at least the second meeting. Try and avoid conversations with a negative tone and make sure to let the other person speak and listen to them.
Be honest and upfront about how the meet went
If you liked or didn’t like the person tell them. Don’t go over the top a simple ‘i had a nice time would you like to do it again’ or a ‘sorry i didn’t feel a spark’ will do. It is much better to get it over and done with than to string someone along or get their hopes up.
I have one more bit of advice especially if you are looking for a relationship. How a relationship starts is how it will end. If you start with lies it will end with lies. Start with alcohol it will end with alcohol.
Good luck to all of you out there that are riding the roller coaster of online dating. Don’t give up Mr or Miss Right is still out there somewhere. Sometimes you have to go through the Mr Or Miss Wrongs to be able to find and appreciate the right one.