COMMUNICATING WITH A 2YR OLD
COMMUNICATING WITH A 2YR OLD IS A HARD LESSON THAT I AM STILL LEARNING
The Good Girl
DD can be generous, wanting to share her food, drink, toys etc. Caring, if she see’s a sore on you she will pull a little sad face and point at it. She will also kiss you better if you are hurt. She is funny and does hilarious things that are often her imitating something she has seen Mr Wonderful or myself do. Like spitting when she brushes her teeth, of course she can not spit but her little attempts are hilarious. Today she imitated me using a roll on deodorant with one of her toys. There is nothing sweeter than a snuggle and a kiss from her but there is another side.
For those that don’t know her i am sure they think she is the devils spawn or that i am the worst mumma. The tantrums can be very intense . Deathly screams that i am sure the whole neighborhood can hear, throwing herself on the ground or headbutting the walls/doors. She will get a run up to headbutt the doors sometimes, she hits it so hard it honestly sounds like we are doing demolition work. DD goes to another place, a place where nothing you say will ease her distress/ rage. You can ignore her but this one has staying power and does not easily give up. You can laugh at her and yes sometimes this works and turns her screams in to half giggle screams but mostly makes her scream even louder.
These tantrums are 99% of the time brought on by her not getting her own way. This part was easy to work out. Now how do i deal with this! Saying ‘No’ or trying to explain why she can not touch this/ have this/ do this. Removing her from the situation and placing her somewhere different. Trying to distract her. Ignoring her. Walking away. Making her aware that her behavior is not cool and always being firm on not letting her get her own way have had no positive effects in fact the opposite. Her tantrums have been getting worse. This has to stop.
She is nearly 2, her behavior is not her fault it is mine. So what am i doing wrong? Communicating with her is not about getting her to listen to me it is about me not listening to her, watching for her signs and helping her deal with the frustration of not being able to say what she wants. I had this epiphany 1 week ago and guess what her behavior has improved. YAY.
I started with paying a lot more attention to her and then asking her to show me what is wrong or what she wants. She now leads me around telling me what she wants to play with next or what she wants to eat. No i am not letting her be the boss. She leads me to the drawer that has her bouncy ball in it only when i ask her what she wants to do now. She leads me to the kitchen and points at the Banana’s when i ask her if she is hungry. If she gets sooky i ask her what is wrong? show mumma what is wrong? She has led me to her bedroom door, the wind had closed it. She rubbed her arms and said something that sounded like cool, then led me to her wardrobe where her jumpers are.
I am sticking with only one form of action when she does have a tantrum. At the moment that is ignoring her unless she is doing something bad like headbutting then she gets a firm No. Honestly i have no idea what i am doing and this is all a work in progress but our new form of communicating seems to be having a positive effect.
Please keep your fingers crossed for us and for DD i am sure these tantrums are not fun for her either.
Find out more about tantrums here – https://www.kidspot.com.au/parenting/toddler/toddler-behaviour/understanding-tantrums/news-story/af916acca8b18c5eb6102b4728d31e08