Birthday Bash Bother


birthday expectations V's reality


As it is nearing DD’s 2nd Birthday i find myself reflecting on her 1st Birthday. I wonder if i will ever get over or let go of all the drama that surrounded it.

you're invited

The Invited

We don’t have a lot of friends or family locally so it was always going to be a small event. The decision was made to have an afternoon tea for DD followed by a BBQ dinner to celebrate my 40th that was about 2 weeks later.

We invited Mr Wonderful’s family – Dad and partner, Mum and partner and his sister and 2 nephews. The neighbors either side of us were invited along with a lady i worked with, a lady that worked in the complex where i used to live, 2 friends from before i was pregnant and a little friend of DD’s. We were also very lucky to have my mum and an old friend of mine and her daughter fly 1700kms to attend.

drama queen

The Start Of The Drama

A week before and all 23 of the people invited had indicated that they would put in some kind of an appearance. It was on the Thursday, 2 days before the party that the first message came. It was Mr Wonderful’s mum saying she wasn’t coming because she would feel uncomfortable. His sister then messaged because she had to do cleaning. Finally it was his dad because of bad weather. Then on the day, none of my local friends turned up. Don’t get me wrong i am extremely grateful for the 10 people that did turn up. Everyone seemed to have an enjoyable time which is fantastic.

Minnie Mouse Birthday Party

The Birthday Party

I know the party wasn’t about me but i found it very hard to get into the party mood. All the normal party stuff had to be done like putting food out, making sure everyone had drinks as it was a hot day, taking photos and of course trying to keep a 1 year old happy. Then comes nap time for DD so we quickly do the cake and off i go upstairs to breastfeed DD and get her to settle. Half an hour later i return to the party and everyone has already had cake and its been put back in the fridge so no cake for me. Then the same thing happened at tea time everyone ate while i was putting DD to bed and then when i came down the last of the guests left so i had to eat tea by myself.

Head in hand

The Aftermath

I am not a person that has parties but i did want to have a day of celebrations for DD. A lot of effort went in to the party and trying to make it a great day. To have so many people not turn up it was disappointing to say the least. But to have none of Mr Wonderful’s family turn up was just heartbreaking. I know DD had a good time which is the main thing. But this day sure ended up being everything but a celebration for me, i know the day wasn’t about me but i never thought i would not get to enjoy any of it. I hate to say it but i wish i could forget it happened.

All the drama has left me very bitter and not ever wanting to have a party again. I am not this kind of person and i can not believe i have let it get to me and continue to let it get to me. Hopefully writing this will help me move on.

Don't blame people for disappointing you. Blame yourself for expecting too much from them.If you are having trouble dealing with disappointment here are some great tips –

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11 thoughts on “Birthday Bash Bother”

  1. Oh I can totally understand why this would get to you. You kind of want people to show , to show that your little one matters to them. Someone saying thry’d rather clean really is going to irritate .
    I hope you have a better birthday this time around #blogcrush

  2. Believe me I know how you feel, it is the most awful thing when family let you down and they do it all the time and will continue to do it. I could write a book on some of the stuff that has happened to us over the years. And like you I became very disappointed, then angry, then resentful – I went through all of the emotions. Now I have come to not expect too much from them and that way you can’t be as disappointed. It sounds a bit sad I know but sometimes you just have to get on with it because what I learned is that people rarely change unfortunately so stay together and learn to have your own fun! #blogcrush

    1. Thanks Jo. I will have one again one day but next time i will have no expectations. I will also have something fun planned that we can do no matter how many people turn up, like body painting on a sheet or set up a mud kitchen. All i can suggest is keep it small, only invite the people that are active in LO’s life and have no expectations. If you are worried about kiddies turning up you could always reach out to a local mothers group on facebook asking if some mummas would like to bring their kiddies. Good luck for when you do give it a go x

  3. Urgh this happened to my sister one year and my heart just broke. I had parties for years for my kids – and now they are older finally I can be more selfish and indulge in a more intimate way. So for birthdays we go out for a lavish meal as a smaller unit. We don’t even always have a birthday cake – sometimes they request a homemade ice-cream instead. You can do that sort of thing when you don’t have to think of everyone else! xx

  4. Aw this is so sad. But I can totally sympathise. It really is disheartening when you start receiving messages with excuses why people can’t come. It’s one day, people really should try and make an effort. I hope you feel a lot better now xx

    1. Thank you. I agree i know i would of set aside any issues i had for a first birthday but i guess not all people are like that. Mr Wonderful’s dad at least came for a visit a week later with gifts etc but we have not seen or heard from his mum or sister since. I guess i just cant understand it maybe that is why i dwell on it.

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